This guest feature has been written by Sharmayne, creator of @timeformetimetobefree. In it, she opens up about her internal battle caused by having a “perfect” life on the outside (partner, kids, house and friends), yet still feeling discontent on a deeper level – something that led her to start making goals and holding herself accountable. Sharmayne’s piece is really valuable, as it highlights the positive impact than even the “smallest” of goals can have!
“…if I wasn’t happy with my life in this wonderful environment, then the issue must be with me“
I was unhappy, that’s how it all started. I was unhappy, unhealthy and disappointed in life. My anxieties had become a hidden burden on my shoulders. I was stressed, tired and unfulfilled. I was becoming envious and jaded about small things that others had. I was angry that other people were happy, and I wasn’t. I was bitter and resentful and all my relationships around me were becoming strained.
I was fast becoming a person I didn’t want to be.
I was nearing my mid-30s with a loving family, fulfilling profession in healthcare and a home. Our family had enough money, friends and material items – yet I still wasn’t happy. I realised that if I wasn’t happy with my life in this wonderful environment, then the issue must be with me. It was a sobering realisation.
I had done everything I was supposed to do. I had completed a university degree and went straight into my first job. I met a handsome and caring partner, had two delightful children, bought a house and got married.
I continued to push prioritising myself and my health further down the to-do list. My own happiness was sacrificed for school runs, hosting barbecues and laundry.
“I wanted to do something for myself“
I had aspirations and resolutions every year, but they never eventuated. I would make excuses to feel better about failing, but they just made me feel guilty that another year had passed with no self-improvement.
I wasn’t being the best Mum, partner or person I could be. I was silently struggling with myself.
Some people have a “lightning strike” moment – some profound event that shocks them into re-evaluating their lives, their surroundings and themselves. I didn’t have that, but rather I had just got to the point where I made an active decision to be a happier, mentally healthier and more involved person.
I wanted to do something for myself.
“I am more patient, kind and starting to value the life I lead”
So, I started a simple Instagram page to document my goals, triumphs and trials – something tangible that could hold me accountable in 2021.
I also decided to start writing goals. I started with small manageable ones, like drinking more water, meditating and reading books – behaviours and habits I wanted to form as part of my life. Seemingly insignificant, but what would have a wider impact on my life.
I also made long-term goals that would facilitate my own growth and prosperity towards becoming a more positive person.
Communicating my goals and sharing with others has helped me be more mindful of what I am trying to achieve and why. I am slowly becoming a more thoughtful and sincere person – I feel better within myself and the choices I am making.
I have also noticed a change in how I treat both myself and others – I am more patient, kind and starting to value the life I lead.
Hopefully I will continue on this track and continue making more mindful choices for myself and my family.
Thank you Sharmayne, for sharing your story! Readers can connect with the author via Instagram (@timeformetimetobefree)
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