From angry and aggressive to calm and content

Trigger warning: mention of early trauma, anxiety, PTSD and panic disorder.

This guest feature has been written by Life Coach and trainee Counsellor Hollie (@holzrandlesome). In the piece, Hollie opens up about how unresolved early trauma majorly impacted her mental health for years, and the positive influence that counselling has had ever since she decided to reach out for help. Continue reading to discover Hollie’s story and some fantastic top tips!

“I carried around so much anger, despair and sadness in life”

After living most of my life feeling very lost and angry, in the summer of 2014 (after suddenly having panic attacks and not being able to leave the house) I was diagnosed with general anxiety, PTSD and panic disorder.

My turning point was understanding, with the help of counselling, that I had bottled up my early trauma and not dealt with it correctly. The result was that I carried around so much anger, despair and sadness in life – something that I didn’t want to do anymore. I wanted to feel happiness and fulfillment and knew that if I wanted to create this life, then I would have to change my attitude and mindset.

I like who I am now, and I’m proud of the person I’ve become. It’s all because of hard work and the power of positive thinking. 

People who knew me back then can’t believe the change since; they have seen me go from someone so angry and aggressive to calm and content. Those I’ve met more recently tell me that they can’t imagine me being this other person.

My top tips for a more positive life

  • If it won’t bother you in 6 months, then don’t let it bother you now (this is my top tip, which I live by daily).
  • Understand other people’s perspectives – if they are negative towards you, then it’s usually a reflection of what they’re going through. Try not to get offended by other people’s problems. 
  • Smile! I smile at anyone and everyone; just passing that on and seeing someone smile back is such a lovely feeling.
  • Don’t compare, as it’s a non-negotiable for positivity (“Comparison is the thief of joy”).
  • Be kind to yourself – you’re not perfect (no-one is!) and so you shouldn’t hold yourself up to an impossible standard. 
  • A bad minute doesn’t mean a bad day…it is just a bad minute in a wonderful day!

Thank you Hollie, for sharing your story! Readers can connect with the author via Instagram (@holzrandlesome).

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